This week I wrote and shared about the default mode network and how that is a part of our brain that is the “autopilot” network
The default mode network (DMN) is a system of connected brain areas that show increased activity when a person is not focused on what is happening around them.
This can occur when we are daydreaming, driving home from work, reaching for our first coffee in the morning and so on.
It can also occur when we are unconsciously focused on the past or the future – self sabotage behaviors based upon those unconscious thoughts.
It often occurs or shows up when we are unconsciously consumed by our addictive behaviors (screen time, text notifications, social media scrolling, people pleasing, over doing, etc).
It also occurs when we have a trigger or a knee jerk reaction to someone/something
It most often occurs…..When our body/mind is disconnected.
And our BODY holding on to a lot of unresolved trauma can easily block or fill up that DMN with things that hold us back
And when you realize that 95% of our external results in life (money, health, relationships, addictions, etc) are a reflection of our inner world….just how much DO these default autopilot behaviors impact us?
I shared this week how that autopilot unconscious behavior drove me to becoming a binge drinking workaholic (although it didn’t start there)
When I realized that I was all consumed by this DMN and behaviors coming thru that side of my brain, I knew I had to wake up to my truth
I didn’t like what I was seeing when I looked into the mirror of my life
It was time to get real
And get real honest with myself and where these autopilot choices were stemming from
In the past two years, I found ONE of the biggest contributing factors to my “autopilot” addictive numbing behaviors came from my Mother Wound.
CLICK HERE for my podcast episode on this vulnerable topic
My mom was a schizophrenic – diagnosed before any of my siblings were born
And there were four of us
I was the youngest of four
And bless her heart, my mom never had a chance to really be a MOM
There was not real ability to attach ourselves to her love and grace and wisdom
It took a village to raise us (and foster care in my case)
There was a lot of rejection from day 1 of my life
And I didn’t get to the heart of this matter with psychotherapy…..I chose a different path
I studied some of the greatest trauma and somatic teachers of all time and did deep dives with sacred plant medicines and healers. (and why I built the programs I now offer)
It was through the shutting off/down the DMN that I was able to go into my body and into my heart and realize that never really having a mom my whole life (but especially those first 18 years) impressed my formative brain with a lot of trauma.
I shut down at a very young age and went into over achieving mode (see trauma responses image at top of this email)
The “good girl” syndrome and people pleasing trauma response started
I looked outside myself for validation EVERY where
Church, school, friends, accomplishments like straight A’s and rewards
Then when social media and texting became a thing, I dove head first into it with my business and personal relationships
I abandoned myself every chance I could so as not to feel the “not enough” wound
What I now call the “abandonment” wound
I lost my brother and many friends to alcoholism and I know their mother wound was DEEP.
There was a huge void without that mom love/energy that could never be replaced by any other external validation
I didn’t know how to mother myself and love myself with compassion and hold that little inner child who never had a mom
Especially when I became a mom!
That was a massive trigger for me that I didn’t even know how to deal with
Once I became addicted to social media and “success” in my early 30s…..it all came to a critical turning point
Then I threw on binge drinking and working too much to “escape”
Never resolving that trauma only added fuel to the fire
Weight gain, arguments with my husband, lack of feeling fulfilled in my career and inauthenic friendships…..and losing sleep at night because I never got to the root cause
It was easy to blame my circumstances
Another way to call this autopilot is “going into trance”
Tara Brach taught me this through her trauma healing and addiction discussion.
I highly recommend her podcast and I do teach her techniques inside of my programs/subscription
She talks about how we have ways to distract ourselves a plenty in this world today (going into default mode network)
“All healing in society has the motif of reconnecting. There needs to be a reconnecting with the unlived life that the suffering of the wounds within us. Reconnecting with our whole body. Reconnecting with each other. Reconnecting with the whole earth.”
If any of this resonates you, I invite you to come to my 40 day addictive behavior, finding a better body challenge INFO SESSION
CLICK HERE to sign up for this Tuesday’s 1 p.m. PST session
I can almost guess that your results in life are are quite possibly a reflection of a very similar wound
(I will talk about the father wound tomorrow)
Since launching my addictive behavior challenge I am SHOCKED at how many people say “Oh, I don’t have any of those nor do I know anyone struggling”
Most people’s responses to that word addiction is substance abuse
That is NOT where it started for me
Nor do I believe it starts there for ANY ONE
If you are finding yourself over giving
Addicted to achievement and DOING
Mindlessly eating or drinking
Turning to sugar to comfort yourself
Avoiding eye contact with loved ones
Self sabotaging yourself in ANY way (too many options to list here)
I wanna help you
PS Our 40 day challenge closes out for registration March 1st
And throughout the 40 days we will work together on the 5 fundamentals to mind/body/spirit alignment and overall wellness to get to that root cause of your behaviors that are holding you back (including the Mother wound)
CLICK HERE to sign up for the info session
Or if you are ready to go ALL IN go to https://40-day-challenge.now.site
Here’s to living your BEST health, BEST wealth, BEST wisdom