In 2014, I hit a turning point in my marriage
We were struggling with a LOT of financial stress, a lot of external variables from his ex-wife and were balancing two young kids under 5
I had just opened my personal training studio and had overhead that I never had before and was launching a whole new business.
We knew we needed help, so we went the traditional path
We hired a marriage and family therapist…..who promptly fired us within the first 60 days because we were not someone she felt she could help
We were “abandoned”
After that, we went numb and on autopilot and didn’t know where to turn
It was at that point, I turned to alcohol and working too much – staying BUSY
My husband shut down and disassociated himself from our challenges and just didn’t say a whole lot about our situation
That was the beginning of the end
It didn’t get any better – in fact, it got worse and we became two shells of people living together
I kept drinking more and more, working more and more, gaining weight – completely losing myself in outside of approval of business mentors and partners who embodied a lot of my own wounds….
Birds of a feather flock together, as they say
I was dying inside and didn’t even know it
It wasn’t until 2020, and the lovely pandemic, where we were stuck with each other and home schooling our two kids that shit got real
I thought for sure I wasn’t going to stay married
In fact, I was praying for answers on divorce
My heart whispered to me that that may be the answer….or was it?
My spiritual mentor I had just met told me that my husband was a mirror of me
I was like “WTF?”
I was in denial that that was possible
However,, come to find he was right!
I found that out through healing my inner child wounds, slowly but surely
I also found that ancestral traumas such as shame, fear, guilt were holding me back and my husband’s actions were simply bringing UP these old, ancient wounds to the surface
And those wounds/pain body “feelings” were unconsciously causing me to reach for alcohol and staying “busy”
It was wounded masculine and feminine energies combined – both inside my husband AND me that was causing us to fight
I found out (see image above) I embodied the abandonment wound
My husband embodied the neglect wound
Something had to change
It was through plant medicine that we started that healing journey and then many many different processes that we now have put together in our tool belt to help other people realize that every person in our life (including our spouse or partner) is there to trigger us – to help us wake up to our truth
We had to quiet our minds and get into our hearts to see changes – for as within, so without!
We truly were mirrors for one another
Which can only be done by going INWARD and healing these lifelong wounds that started in utero (and beyond, we carry our ancestors wounds also)
We also learned it isn’t just your BODY & MIND that holds on to these repressed traumas or shut down responses…..it’s our energies – our inner life force that also got shut down. And these energies impact our THOUGHTS – it becomes a vicious cycle if we just shut down and repress
It can also mislead us into thinking that quick fixes are needed DAILY to keep us going (over consuming coffee, substances, emotional eating, etc), but they aren’t really healthy
We can’t heal what we don’t feel
Once I got to those root causes – and could fully FEEL them, then the game of life changed
I transmuted those dis-ease thoughts and feelings into love and light and compassion
AND deep healing
Are you tired of being sick & tired?
Tired of arguing with your spouse or partner?
Tired of “running” or finding the same partner/same spouse in all the other people in your life?
Just leaving the one behind without healing the wounds that are triggered won’t give you lasting freedom
You’ll just find another person that embodies those same childhood wounds that caused your fights/arguments/in the first place
Tired of not being able to understand how to simply BE when these emotions are there to get your attention?
Ready to release and transmute (much like I did) your inner child traumas?
Tired of chasing them away with coping behavior patterns? (ie alcohol, smoking, venting, napping, judging, hiding, avoidance, procrastination)