With Father’s day this month, I thought I would share with you a powerful father/ancestral ritual that you can do on Father’s Day or really any day!

Before I share the ritual, I want to share with you why I love the ritual and now teach things like this to my healing clients, especially if they are working with sacred plants or deep shadow work around the father wound.

If you’ve been following me for some time, I have shared openly about  my Father wound stories and healing journey

My father died the week of Father’s day 2018 – so this is always a potent time of year for me (at least it used to be really, really hard).    We buried him the day before Father’s Day – and it was not lost on me his choice for his Soul to move on JUST before that day

I had a deep, deep father wound – that had driven me for much of my life.

The core part of that wound was abandonment, as he had a very rough first marriage to my mother, who was diagnosed schizophrenic and never ever really healthy the whole time they were married.   And as a result I was put in many very reckless situations, left alone a lot, definitely developed a neglect wound.  Even though I was raised by a village of people, some family, some not….I never really felt connected to my mother or my father.

With myself being the last of 4 kids, you can only imagine the level of abandonment that was experienced.  In a lot of ways, I got to raise myself.

My dad did the absolute best he could, and yet, my childhood brain took on a lot of fear, shame and guilt associated within my body, shutting down my chakras and impacting my health (especially gut health/digestion)

In 2020, when I began my dark night of the Soul, deepest healing journey that led to my spiritual awakening and radical life saving/career changing path, I had no idea that my wounding went much farther than my father

it was his father, and his father’s father, and so on (also his mother, his mother’s mother, etc)

If you do the math, it required over 4000 people to create you!

Your very existence means that someone fathered you (even if you didn’t get to know them)

So whether you had a good relationship or  bad one with this person, whether you knew him or not, you can agree that you had or have a father.

I will say all the healing I did up til my ancestral/generational trauma was a band aid in comparison to when I spoke to my ancestors and asked the healed and wise ones to break and release any of the “baggage” that was holding me back from living my best possible life. 

The repeating patterns, the limiting beliefs, etc., are all in our DNA – we can’t escape that

Wherever you go, there you are!  (and all 4000 of your ancestors too!)

Once I let it all go and started to make daily contact with my wise and healed ancestors, I no longer felt abandoned

I let go of addictions and limiting beliefs, allowing myself love and compassion instead.

I no longer felt alone

I no longer felt separate

Of course, I had to do the same with mom’s side as well

This ritual for father’s day honors that paternal connection, affirming what is good and helping to make what was “bad” less powerful

AND if you want to release those ancestral lineage imprints and learn how to move forward, please do email me and let’s have a chat on how to exactly do that.  It can’t be done alone and it is definitely not something I can share in an email 🙂


-You’ll need a mirror on a wall (ideally on a wall, you can have someone hold a hand held mirror for you if you want)
-Light a candle or some incense to honor your father or paternal ancestors (call them in by name before with an affirmation or a prayer if you like)
-Gaze into the mirror and really see yourself, looking deeply into your eyes first and then all parts of your body that you can see in this mirror
-Don’t judge yourself or berate/belittle yourself.
-Simply just BE – breathing deeply, perhaps counting even numbered breath inhale and exhale and really BE in your body/heart.
-For a few moments – Think about the life force that flows through your veins and all the ancestors that came before you so that you could exist in this body, in this life.  Breathe deep and listen to your heartbeat
-Thank the person in the mirror for being there for you when maybe no one else was/is.
-Literally, say out loud, Thank you for your life, for your breath and all your potential! 
-Feel free to say anything else to that person in the mirror that is encouraging (no need to focus on the negative for this ritual)
-Finally, high five the mirror and say “You’ve got this!”

If you do feel called, thank any specific ancestors that come through your mind or heart during this ritual or at the end. 

AND, if you feel called, do this more than just Father’s Day.

And call upon your wise and healed ancestors to show you the ways of compassion, self love and forgiveness for those that have gone before you that may have caused you pain and suffering and let it go

LKLaptop copy


Make more in 9 months than in the last 12, so you can take a 3 month vacation! Enter your name and email below for 2 weeks free exclusive access to the Koffi Sales Formula!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

computer background

Enter now to claim your discount code for "List Build Training Series + 3 months Master Your Sales Success Membership"

Congrats! your discount code is: WELCOME