Yesterday I shared my vulnerable journey with the mother wound – a CORE WOUND that has been uncovered through my 2 year healing journey

It wouldn’t be a balanced share, however, if I didn’t talk about what I call the “Father wound”

Our fathers represent strength, courage, mentorship, patience, leading, protection, bravery, patience

It most often that masculine energy in our brains/bodies – our left side of our brain, our right side of the body

This is our logic, analytical, numbers, execution part of the mind

If it is balanced, we know when to act and when to rest

We know when to provide and protect and when to be patient and observe

It protects that feminine energy as well – the intuition, the creative, the artistic energies.

But what happens if you didn’t have a great example of that as a formative child?

What does that masculine/father wound look like?

For me, I was raised by a single dad

Bless his heart, my father embodied a lot of wounded masculine

My mom was a schizophrenic in the system and he didn’t know HOW to protect her

He was brave and courageous to try to help her and provide for her….but after decades of financial stress with the mental health hospitals, suicide attemps and shame/built around her inability to be a balanced human……

He was so hurting

And threw himself into that wounded masculine energy of work, work, work

A lot of emotional shut down energies that he embodied

Decades of that and he started breaking down in his body and couldn’t do the things he loved anymore – farming/dancing – even walking at the end of his life

He was very much in the default mode network and autopilot of DOING

And I embodied that without knowing it until much later in life

When I felt emotional pain which led to trauma responses, my default was WORK – PUSH – IMBALANCE

I shut down my feminine side, just like he did (we all have both feminine/masculine energies)

And given I didn’t have a mom…..I had a double whammy of emotional abandonment

Which led to my “not enough” wound

And that flared up my fight and flight and fawn and freeze response (see image at top of email)

I wasn’t at all conscious of this, especially after he died in 2018.

In fact, it was his death, where I found myself super duper numb

NOT in my body 

And my Spirit was so shut down – my intuition, my creativity, my compassion……

And then my addictive behaviors took an all time high increase

Honestly, I was lost in grief

And I didn’t realize it until I hit rock bottom in my marriage, my relationship with alcohol, my relationship with numbing myself through work/people pleasing and the constant GO, GO, GO

So I surrendered

I decided to take an honest look at myself in the mirror

And I saw my Dad

I saw his pain

I saw his masculine wound

I also saw his wounds embodied in my husband

I ultimately married my father……and the fights and triggers I projected upon my husband….all started with the internal wounds I was harboring deeply/unconsciously

One of our worst fears, I believe, that we often say, “I never want to e like my mom or my dad.  I’m going to be BETTER!”

Or, we hear this

“I married my father/mother!”

have you ever said any of those things?

I believe that is the #1 cause of divorce, honestly

As well as many partnerships breaking up right now

The mother/father wound

We are being REQUIRED to heal this for our ancestors and for US (and the planet)

Well, what we resist persists!

It most often occurs…..When our body/mind is disconnected.

And when you realize that 95% of our external results in life (money, health, relationships, addictions, etc) are a reflection of our inner world….just how much DO these default autopilot behaviors impact us?

It’s time for us all to wake up and realize this to heal ourselves and our planet

Trauma doesn’t heal itself or just “go away”

We can drink over it or work over it or consume sugar over it or scroll mindlessly over it…..whatever your numbing mechanism of unconscious choice is

Alice Miller, Author/Psychotherapist said on trauma

“There is no way, ultimately, to avoid what’s in the body. The truth about our childhood, is stored in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it.

Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our conceptions confused and our body tricked with medication.

But someday our body will present it’s bell for it is as incorruptible as a child who is still whole in spirit will accept no compromises, or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth.”

Wow – that is powerful

Does that resonate with you?

What is your body telling you right now?

Or what do you think it wants to tell you?

If you aren’t living a healthy and vital life…..that is a sign

Are you ready to live a healthy and vital life?

It’s your choice!

Just like it was mine

I chose LIFE two years ago and now can honestly say….my life has never been better

And I am not saying that from a MATERIAL way

Rather from a health and vitality and FULFILLMENT

Mind/body/spirit CONNECTED way

I focused on meditation, breathwork, kundalini yoga, superconscious healing, nutrition for mind/body/Soul

And now I coach on this to help others

Bliss – joy – and learning to dance in the rain/emotional pain is what I found for myself

My husband no longer embodies those father/masculine wounds in a way that scares me and our connection has never been this powerful in all our 15 years together

My kids have the BEST of me – I have seen shifts in THEM (for them, as they are my descendants, impacted by my own wounds 100%)

My friendships are richer/fuller and AUTHENTIC

I shed 30 lbs and kept it off and feel so much more ALIVE

I am working out again and in a balanced way

I could go on and on……and I am still on this journey WITH YOU

My need to perfect has been transformed 🙂

I still have my “stuff”, however, now I can see it and ALLOW it to be seen/heard and appreciated

My trauma responses no longer take up tons of head space (main reason folks can’t focus or have shiny object syndrome OR reach for addictive substances/behaviors that numb us)

If any of this resonates you, I invite you to come to my 40 day addictive behavior, finding a better body challenge INFO SESSION

CLICK HERE to sign up for this Tuesday’s 1 p.m. PST session

I can almost guess that your results in life are are quite possibly a reflection of a very similar wound

Since launching my addictive behavior challenge I am SHOCKED at how many people say “Oh, I don’t have any of those nor do I know anyone struggling”

Most people’s responses to that word addiction is substance abuse

That is NOT where it started for me

Nor do I believe it starts there for ANY ONE

If you are finding yourself over giving

People pleasing

Scrolling mindlessly

Addicted to achievement and DOING

Mindlessly eating or drinking

Turning to sugar to comfort youself

Avoiding eye contact with loved ones

Self sabotaging yourself in ANY way (too many options to list here)

I wanna help you



Resources 2023


LKLaptop copy


Make more in 9 months than in the last 12, so you can take a 3 month vacation! Enter your name and email below for 2 weeks free exclusive access to the Koffi Sales Formula!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

computer background

Enter now to claim your discount code for "List Build Training Series + 3 months Master Your Sales Success Membership"

Congrats! your discount code is: WELCOME