Yesterday I shared my vulnerable journey with the mother wound – a CORE WOUND that has been uncovered through my 2 year healing journey
It wouldn’t be a balanced share, however, if I didn’t talk about what I call the “Father wound”
Our fathers represent strength, courage, mentorship, patience, leading, protection, bravery, patience
It most often that masculine energy in our brains/bodies – our left side of our brain, our right side of the body
This is our logic, analytical, numbers, execution part of the mind
If it is balanced, we know when to act and when to rest
We know when to provide and protect and when to be patient and observe
It protects that feminine energy as well – the intuition, the creative, the artistic energies.
But what happens if you didn’t have a great example of that as a formative child?
What does that masculine/father wound look like?
For me, I was raised by a single dad
Bless his heart, my father embodied a lot of wounded masculine
My mom was a schizophrenic in the system and he didn’t know HOW to protect her
He was brave and courageous to try to help her and provide for her….but after decades of financial stress with the mental health hospitals, suicide attemps and shame/built around her inability to be a balanced human……
He was so hurting
And threw himself into that wounded masculine energy of work, work, work
A lot of emotional shut down energies that he embodied
Decades of that and he started breaking down in his body and couldn’t do the things he loved anymore – farming/dancing – even walking at the end of his life
He was very much in the default mode network and autopilot of DOING
And I embodied that without knowing it until much later in life
When I felt emotional pain which led to trauma responses, my default was WORK – PUSH – IMBALANCE
I shut down my feminine side, just like he did (we all have both feminine/masculine energies)
And given I didn’t have a mom…..I had a double whammy of emotional abandonment
Which led to my “not enough” wound
And that flared up my fight and flight and fawn and freeze response (see image at top of email)
I wasn’t at all conscious of this, especially after he died in 2018.
In fact, it was his death, where I found myself super duper numb
NOT in my body
And my Spirit was so shut down – my intuition, my creativity, my compassion……
And then my addictive behaviors took an all time high increase
Honestly, I was lost in grief
And I didn’t realize it until I hit rock bottom in my marriage, my relationship with alcohol, my relationship with numbing myself through work/people pleasing and the constant GO, GO, GO
So I surrendered
I decided to take an honest look at myself in the mirror
And I saw my Dad
I saw his pain
I saw his masculine wound
I also saw his wounds embodied in my husband
I ultimately married my father……and the fights and triggers I projected upon my husband….all started with the internal wounds I was harboring deeply/unconsciously
One of our worst fears, I believe, that we often say, “I never want to e like my mom or my dad. I’m going to be BETTER!”
Or, we hear this
“I married my father/mother!”
have you ever said any of those things?
I believe that is the #1 cause of divorce, honestly
As well as many partnerships breaking up right now
The mother/father wound
We are being REQUIRED to heal this for our ancestors and for US (and the planet)
Well, what we resist persists!
It most often occurs…..When our body/mind is disconnected.
And when you realize that 95% of our external results in life (money, health, relationships, addictions, etc) are a reflection of our inner world….just how much DO these default autopilot behaviors impact us?
It’s time for us all to wake up and realize this to heal ourselves and our planet
Trauma doesn’t heal itself or just “go away”
We can drink over it or work over it or consume sugar over it or scroll mindlessly over it…..whatever your numbing mechanism of unconscious choice is
Alice Miller, Author/Psychotherapist said on trauma
“There is no way, ultimately, to avoid what’s in the body. The truth about our childhood, is stored in our body, and although we can repress it, we can never alter it.
Our intellect can be deceived, our feelings manipulated, our conceptions confused and our body tricked with medication.
But someday our body will present it’s bell for it is as incorruptible as a child who is still whole in spirit will accept no compromises, or excuses, and it will not stop tormenting us until we stop evading the truth.”
Wow – that is powerful
Does that resonate with you?
What is your body telling you right now?
Or what do you think it wants to tell you?
If you aren’t living a healthy and vital life…..that is a sign
Are you ready to live a healthy and vital life?
It’s your choice!
Just like it was mine
I chose LIFE two years ago and now can honestly say….my life has never been better
And I am not saying that from a MATERIAL way
Rather from a health and vitality and FULFILLMENT
Mind/body/spirit CONNECTED way
I focused on meditation, breathwork, kundalini yoga, superconscious healing, nutrition for mind/body/Soul
And now I coach on this to help others
Bliss – joy – and learning to dance in the rain/emotional pain is what I found for myself
My husband no longer embodies those father/masculine wounds in a way that scares me and our connection has never been this powerful in all our 15 years together
My kids have the BEST of me – I have seen shifts in THEM (for them, as they are my descendants, impacted by my own wounds 100%)
My friendships are richer/fuller and AUTHENTIC
I shed 30 lbs and kept it off and feel so much more ALIVE
I am working out again and in a balanced way
I could go on and on……and I am still on this journey WITH YOU
My need to perfect has been transformed 🙂
I still have my “stuff”, however, now I can see it and ALLOW it to be seen/heard and appreciated
My trauma responses no longer take up tons of head space (main reason folks can’t focus or have shiny object syndrome OR reach for addictive substances/behaviors that numb us)
If any of this resonates you, I invite you to come to my 40 day addictive behavior, finding a better body challenge INFO SESSION
CLICK HERE to sign up for this Tuesday’s 1 p.m. PST session
I can almost guess that your results in life are are quite possibly a reflection of a very similar wound
Since launching my addictive behavior challenge I am SHOCKED at how many people say “Oh, I don’t have any of those nor do I know anyone struggling”
Most people’s responses to that word addiction is substance abuse
That is NOT where it started for me
Nor do I believe it starts there for ANY ONE
If you are finding yourself over giving
Addicted to achievement and DOING
Mindlessly eating or drinking
Turning to sugar to comfort youself
Avoiding eye contact with loved ones
Self sabotaging yourself in ANY way (too many options to list here)
I wanna help you
SIGN UP FOR MY 40 DAY CHALLENGE NOW:
CHECK OUT MY RESOURCES AND SUBSCRIPTION HERE:
JOIN MY HEALTHY N WEALTHY N WISE SUBSCRIPTION COMMUNITY