There was a saying recently that my teacher shared inside of an ayurvedic medicine course
“When I am out of balance, I will tend to be more attracted to the things that will keep me out of balance”
“When I am in balance, I will be attracted toward things that will keep me in balance”
Sounds simple, no?
Well, I found that unless you realize you are OUT OF BALANCE, you don’t often have a conscious thought about what you are attracted to
I found myself there 3 years ago….where I was unconsciously out of balance
And for me, balance IS possible
I had lived it before in my 20s
Many people believe balance is an illusion
I am here to say it is NOT an illusion
For me, balance is simply a word that means alignment
Am I in alignment with my true nature and purpose?
Am I loving myself FULLY and all parts of me?
Am I compassion toward myself and others?
Am I balanced in my right and left brain – honoring that sacred union of feminine and masculine energies that we ALL have inside of us (no matter the gender)
I wasn’t loving myself and compassionate toward myself and others 3 years ago
I was nearly 40 lbs heavier than I am now – which was a telling sign
I was stuck in my analytical mind (masculine) of logic and numbers and executing systems/DOING mostly, versus barely BEING (feminine)
I had zero spaciousness in my life – so my mind was always on go go go go….until of course I found something to numb it (ie alcohol, social media, etc)
I was carrying “weight” on my frame that had every indicator that I was out of alignment
I was attracted to heavy amounts of alcohol to escape my pain and grief that was left unresolved
I was attracted to mentors and coaches that were very intensely focused on money and had different values that really weren’t my truth (again masculine dominant side of the brain)
I had shut down my feminine side of my brain and was not really softening into my compassionate, loving, kind heart.
I realized first, that it was my “mother wound” that was a big part of that shutting down of the feminine
Being raised by a single dad in a very patriarchal/masculine brain dominant society, it was easy to shut that down
Once I started to heal that mother wound, everything changed.
I could accept my femininity more and more
Balancing my brain looked like being more loving and vulnerable
Being more open to tears
Being more open to asking for help and showing that I didn’t have all my “shit” together
That I could make mistakes and work on my shadow (shame/fear/guilt)
It didn’t happen overnight
However, it slowly shifted with the help of meditation, breathwork, kundalini yoga to balance the inner sacred union of feminine and masculine
And of course the shadow work of feeling abandoned from my mom from as early as in utero
But also ALL of humanity abandoning the feminine side of ourselves
Once I started bringing that feminine and masculine within myself in better balance/alignment, then I was attracted to less alcohol and more nourishing food and drink
I was attracted to more coaches/mentors in alignment with my truth
I could also attract more friends/relationships that were more in alignment
AND my kids/husband could have a more softened/feminine mother!
I got more creative, more excited about music/laughter and FUN
More excited about music and my writing – things that I had abandoned when I was out of balance
So remember, as within, so without
If you can’t or don’t heal these feminine wounds (aka mother wound), you will stay out of balance and likely tend to be more attracted to things that do NOT serve you (addictions/toxic relationships/numbing mechanisms, etc)
You will likely also stay stuck in a loop of a victim story (like I had of not ever feeling “enough” and trying to fill your days/hours up with “stuff” that is not fulfilling
THAT is the price we pay for being out of alignment
CLICK HERE if you want support healing that mother wound for my free class this Thursday, May 11th at 2 p.m. PST
If you feel out of alignment, this could be a GREAT starting point!