Are you struggling in your relationship right now?
Wondering, should I stay, or should I go?
When will he/she/they “fix” themselves?
That was me 3 years ago, heck even 2 years ago…..12 years in marriage at the time and not really knowing who I was anymore (or who he was!)
When we marry (or stay in a long term committed relationship with someone we essentially say “yes” to), we make some massive commitments….but what did we really sign up for?
When my husband and I married in a cute little Vegas chapel in 2008 (yes, that is what we did!), we said our “I do’s”,,,,and then life hit us like a freight train
Kids, bills, sickness, financial losses, past ex’s coming in and causing damage…..
It became a blur
We lost that “loving” feeling
And we even had a therapist who did some deep work with us before hand….but honestly, there is nothing that can fully prepare you for marriage or committed long term relationships
You end up marrying your mother/father and ancestors all in one
You may very well live with this person full time, and if you are like us, you may also WORK together or both work from home and are in each other’s presence ALL. THE.TIME.
When the pandemic happened, we opened ourselves up to looking in the mirror DAILY with one another
And we didn’t like what we saw
We finally realized what the whole phrase “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer” TRULY meant
Our parents taught us VERY little about marriage
And honestly, I came from a divorced home and my husband’s parents lived apart and separated a lot – likely staying together due to religious commitments and societal norms/expectations.
None of that was right or wrong, it just was what it was for us in this lifetime.
In a nutshell, my husband and I had no “user’s manual” or lessons directly on how to navigate things (sex/money/meal planning/confrontations, etc)
It was all indirect through mother/father and society (hello, I watched 5 hours of soap operas when I was a kid over summer break EVERY day)
So, JR Ewing and Sue Ellen from Dallas, weren’t the best role models, you ask?
Long story short, marriage and family therapy didn’t cut it for us either
Books and personal development/self help was dismal at best
We even hired a sex coach (which opened some windows of realization for sure from our religious upbringing and repressed traumas)…..
However, the REAL clincher was the 4 different plant medicine ceremonies that radically shifted our perspective
The ancestral traumas we revealed were mind blowing – it all started with our ancestors and was in our blood/DNA
The compassionate grief release of guilt/shame from our previous life experiences, as well as past lives experience, was HUGE
Working through the religion wounds and dramatic different countries that we were raised upon made a massive shift (again, with plant medicines)
We really got to the roots causes of the “for better and worse” wounds, as well as the “richer and poorer” money/scarcity wounds that were deeply embedded in our DNA (thank you ancestors/mom/dad!)
Not to mention the deep grief that we had inside ourselves from a lot of loss/death in our lives (both family and friends that left us early in our lives, as well as during our marriage)
We couldn’t see each other…..without going DEEP and shutting down the mind, breaking through the default mode network and getting into our HEARTS
We were shut down zombies….
Once we could really SEE each other with the help of the medicine work, we could disarm our defenses
AND then, the integration path at home and implementing with ease/grace what we could change in our DAILY HABITS
Our “fights” turned into care-frontations with faster resolutions and course corrections versus the hamster wheel of same shit, different day (definition of insanity)
Our avoidance of looking each other in the eyes turned into gazing into each others’ eyes and communicating that way, without projecting an agenda
Our lack of knowing how to be vulnerable, humble and intimate (versus disassociation and shutting down) was shifted to real/raw and allowing each other to be vulnerable many times every week, while failing forward into what OUR version of intimacy looked like (not what we see on TV or having to be like other couples)
We released a TON of dodependent addictive behaviors we had latched on to for numbing/avoidance of our “problems”
We started Laughing at ourselves as we made mistakes while triggering one another versus repeating the triggers over and over again, just hoping and praying the other person would change
Taking radical responsibility for our “mistakes” and learning from one another’s lessons…with more humility and grace
Did this happen over night?
HELL NO
But it did happen over 18 months…..and we didn’t have an organized structure to that timeline
BUT we do now!
AND we are offering up this structure to couples in private ceremonial work
And was actually a huge $avings over ALL the other therapies we did for the 13 years prior
We would like to help you do what we did only FASTER
We will $ave you tons of time, money and headaches
Would you like to improve your committed relationship this year?
Would you like to see any of the following improve?
-Communication
-Romance/Intimacy
-How to handle the money situation
-How to work with your own independence vs. codependence
-Remember YOU truly are as an individual, so you can become a better couple?
-Have more FUN?
-Not take things personally?
-NOT hold grudges or repeat the same triggers/patterns over and over again?
-Live a more delicious FRIENDSHIP/PARTNERSHIP and have each other’s backs?
THIS MONTH ONLY, we are offering up a $555 discount on our couples private work
This is deemed the month of love after all
And if you feel like cupid’s arrows have been WAY OFF for a long time and NOTHING else is working….we are here for you
CLICK HERE for a free consultation – no strings attached – to see if you and your partner can not only SALVAGE your relationship, but ROCKET LAUNCH into love, passion and deep CONNECTION this year, then we are here for you
If you know a couple struggling, please send it to them
You have an extra day this month (thank you leap year) to take this LEAP
Call it a leap year special or valentine’s……we don’t care
