2020 has brought a lot of grief and loss to the world and many of us, including myself, have had a lifetime of stuffing down our grief/pain.
I learned that the hard way this year with multiple deaths in family and friend circle – and I knew I had to do something
That’s when I hired Rosie Fox
Tune in today how she took my numb reaction to the pain of loss and turned it into authenticity that has changed my life and increased my sales (for real!)
Sales is all about relationships and being authentic – and if we are holding on to grief, well, we can’t sell from a place of power and truly serve our clients.
Rosie Fox BA, CADAC II is a certified Grief Specialist and Drug and Alcohol Counselor with a Bachelor Degree in Psychology. Rosie has been in the field of counseling for the past 34 yrs. and has worked in many facilities and hospitals as a counselor and clinical director working with individuals and their families. One of the grief programs that she is certified with is “The Grief Recovery Program” and has been trained in “Horse Assistant Therapy” which uses horses in the grieving process and recovery from alcohol and drug addiction.
Rosie can be reached at (951) 719-9025. Her email is Healingthroughgrief@gmail.com, website: www.healingourheartsnow.com
PRIZE FOR THOSE THAT WANT TO WIN
Two winners will win each get Two Intro sessions , called “ Uncover, Discover and Recover “ ( sessions are 1 hr. each ) to see if you are ready for grief recovery . Email Rosie at Healingthroughgrief@gmail.com Pick number from 1- 100 The two that is closet to the number she has wins
Welcome to the Healthy and Wealthy and Wise podcast with global sales trainer and professional speaker Lois CofI each week, it is her goal to share inspiration and education for you to be to have the best health and wealth and wisdom for your life. All right, all right, everyone. Well, hello and welcome back for another episode of Healthy and Wealthy and Wise. And today is September 30 at the time of this recording. And I’m so grateful to have my friend Rosie here today.
We’re going to be we’re going to be talking about grief and how it’s a hard issue, not a head issue. And it really summarizes the whole month of September has been about suicide awareness and mental health awareness. And we’re super excited to have you guys here today. And we’re going to be going about the next 30 minutes just talking with Rosie about how she helped people. And really, I’m going to, first of all, share my testimonial and then I’ll I’ll introduce Rosie and open it up for questions later, too.
If you have any questions, you can just comment below. Definitely. Looking forward to hearing what you can learn from Rosie today. So earlier this year, we all had this pandemic, right? A lot of people have experienced loss and grieving. And so whether you lost a job, whether you maybe lost a family member, I had two family members passed away. Not not covid related, but still unexpected. A sudden change is also something that can be hard and can cause grief and challenges.
And so today, I wanted to bring Rosie on because she does work as an advanced grief therapist. She’s helped me better understand how to work through and recover from grief. Before meeting Rosie, I didn’t think recovery from grief was a thing. I thought I was just something that you stacked on layer upon layer upon layer upon layer. And you just suck it up, buttercup, right? You just keep taking those hits and you keep going because that’s what a lot of us had modeled to us growing up.
And I will say for my own testimonial, because I met Rosie and I worked with her for a whole summer, it’s made me a better business owner. It has, I believe, increased indirectly increased my income because I released a lot of pain. I released a lot of grief. And it’s making me more authentic. And I’m not done yet. I’m still I’m still on my journey. So, Rosie, thank you so much for persevering today or for not allowing technology to stop us.
And I’m super excited for you to share your story. How how did you become an advanced grief therapist? That’s just I mean, did you say that you wanted to be that when you grew up, when you were a kid? Well, no, not actually I ran a lot from grief, my family didn’t know how to deal with grief to begin with. That’s probably one of the things I think for some people we get into our passions. We don’t even know it’s our passions directly.
We end up doing other things and it kind of through our own experience, our own personal experience, we end up in things that we had no idea we were going to end up wanting to do, like you to do and having a passion for it. And so I am a grief specialist. I am I work with clients. How I started this whole process and that’s a question you asked to begin with, was I was working in addiction. I was working in his addiction counselor.
And I thought that that’s what I was going to do the rest of my life doing that. I loved it. I fell. And even to that, I mean, I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up. And I kind of went into school as a little smart aleck, just trying to do the easier, softer way. Just get some credits, meet a guy, you know, all the wrong reasons, right.
To go to school with. Just take care of me in life. And the career was not it. My friend wanted to meet the guy. She got the guy. I got the career. So we ended up going in and I ended up finding this certification program and I found working in a hospital, which I hated hospitals. And here I am in this hospital on a unit with with people that were recovering from addiction. And I loved it. I fell in love with that process and I fell in love with that career.
So spin forward 20 years later on. Even during that time when we would do groups and educations, we were really on relapse prevention mode during that time. And it was the big thing was anger. So I went in and I did groups on anger and self-esteem. But when I was in that process of doing it, I realized there was a lot of pain and loss with people in treatment. And I would I recognize that from the beginning on and I would say something to my supervisors.
We are really need to work on loss. It’s not about anger. There’s about a lot of loss. And they said, oh, yeah, yeah, we know that inner child work all that. But really we need to do anger management. That’s the why the relapse and because of their anger. And I really saw it underneath. It was about loss. So spin forward. 20 years later, I’m over. I move out to Temecula and I find a treatment center.
And I started to do they wanted me to do a lecture on self-esteem and grief. And I know my story is a lot about self-esteem to begin with and developing and identifying and coming out of such a low self-esteem that I was felt real comfortable with that but didn’t feel comfortable with grief. So my dad had died fourteen years before that and I’d stuffed all that. I thought I don’t. I went to the traditional therapy with grief, but I hadn’t really dealt with the whole grief.
So I avoided topics like that. So I was like, everybody else do it but me. Oh no, no, we want you to present this one. So next thing I know what the owner of the treatment center heard me and said, you’re perfect for this as I’m sobbing through the whole thing. And I felt like just humility and I feel like I can’t be up here sobbing, you know? But everybody was sobbing with me, the audience, everything.
And he said, no, no, that’s really authentic. And I didn’t want to be that authentic, that raw. And he said that’s what we need. And so he ended up a year later, starting in a day program when this treatment center and he said, I want you develop a grief and loss, you know, like an hour to hour program on a Wednesday. And I said, OK. And I thought, well, I’ll just keep it all head.
And that’s why we talked. It’s a hard issue. I thought we could just keep it all heady and I would be there to process their feelings. But I could stay in my head through this process. And I developed this education and it was going real well. Next thing you know, I’m thinking, no, we need three hours to do this, just not enough time. So he gave me the three hour period to work with these clients.
And my father also, I wanted to tell you, backtrack. I moved my mom with us and we moved out here to Temecula to have a better community for my kids and to have a place where my mom could live with us. We could own a bigger house to support all that out here versus Orange County. And so my mom was starting to get, you know, as elderly and as sick and as feeble she was getting. I was watching her progressively going downhill.
And so here I am doing this grief and loss and she gets sick. We almost lose her once already. And I’m trying to just keep afloat, keep that professionalism, do the grief of loss, but go home.
And I had all this stuff at home that I was dealing with, but I was doing that Academy Award recovery that we talk about in my grief program.
I was acting like everything’s OK and I’m a professional and I can separate my home and my work right as people or in their hearts to me stuff and mine.
And so then my mom dies, he gets diagnosed with cancer and a just a group of emergency room trip. From that day, 13 days later, she dies. She had cancer. They said it was colon or ovarian. So nine months later, I’m still running with my little high heels going to work and doing the education and thinking I’m well, because I took two weeks off instead of one week off from my dad, I took two weeks off work.
I think I should be OK. I go back to work for nine months, acting OK, recovered everything else. And everybody was saying to me, yes, you know how to do this. We know we’re not worried about you. You’re strong. You know you’ve got it. And so I would play the part and go home and drive home feeling like I’m falling apart. I had no idea that when you’re in grief like that, it affects your self-esteem, it affects your livelihood, affects your business, know it affects everything.
If you are not mentally well, you can affect your whole body and your whole life and in in your emotions are connected to that, all that. And so here I was running around doing this and I ended up nine months later. And that’s where I always say a lot of times I will see people nine months after the death or the loss, not right away. Because don’t you realize you’re really busy during those nine months taking care of funeral arrangements?
Wrap your head around if it’s a divorce, just taking care of the divorced, wrap your head around it and your feelings don’t catch up to you until you stop being busy. And so that was my go to as a workaholic. And I was busy and I didn’t realize that because I got a lot from working in my field and I, I could just pour into everybody else, but I wasn’t taking care of myself. And so in the end, nine months later, I crashed and burned.
I went on a vacation and I was my husband talked me into it. I wasn’t too thrilled about that. Should have been my first time. Like, why wouldn’t I want to go on a cruise with my family and enjoy ice? And after we came out of that cruise, like five days later, I crashed and burned, I got into paranoia, panic attacks, anxiety, and I wouldn’t leave my house. And I took off five months from work because I felt this incredible shame and I had all these feelings.
I didn’t know it was grief. I didn’t know my anger. You know, for nine months I did come home and I’d scream and yell at everybody else at home and at work. I was like, happy sunshine. Lovely, wonderful, rosy. And nobody knew. Nobody knew I was living two lives. I knew I was living two lives. So the reason I got into this is that when I finally had to admit that I was having this brief as a professional, I realized I refer to a lot of professionals and professional refer to me, but I did not feel safe to talk to a professional.
I had belief systems that I was not supposed to feel this way. I was supposed to be able to handle it, maybe feel it, but not be able to be over it. All those mistaken belief that I should be sent like I’m well, that I should be well. And then people would say to me, Oh, yeah, you’re strong, you know how to do this. And when I did say the little few times, like, I’m really struggling, you wouldn’t say, oh, I’m worried about you.
So what did I compute that there’s something wrong with me, right? When grief is supposed to be natural, normal, unfortunately, or don’t take this a natural normal thing. They end up. What I call stuffing it. I hadn’t realized that I had never agreed with my dad fully. I had never gave myself permission to leave my childhood. I had relationships that had been gone, relationships that dad, relationships that left me all that. Let’s just move forward.
See, society tells us how to obtain things they don’t, how to lose thing. They tell you just deal with it, get over it, you know, grieve it. But nobody tells you how to do it, you know? And we’re also learning from our families and friends society that it’s fighting the state run in. What are we learning from society is and learning how to be compassionate and allow us to process. I mean, I hear people come to me and they say, you know, people think I should be over.
It’s been two months. Like what? Your husband committed suicide and you should be over in two months. But there’s no time frame for law.
And then there’s also people say, well, we got what stage in my own will? I don’t believe in the stages anymore either. The stage is cut, cookie cutter. You know, we’re not cookie cutters. We’re human beings. And so I needed to find somebody that could support me more than anything. I needed somebody to listen to me. You people say, well, I’ll listen to you, but then they give me feedback or then they tell me I shouldn’t feel a certain way, or then they tell me to get a hobby, or then they tell me that, you know, things are going to get better or, you know, your mom was 80 years old.
You know, she’s in a better place. Well, I know that in here, but my heart is grieving. I’m not in a better place because I want her here. I need to be grieving. That’s all the things that happen when you lose somebody. Sometimes you wonder if you’re white. And I see the signs of the cancer, you know, and then I get whirling about that. And so I needed to be able to have those feelings and listen to validate, have somebody hold space work and then help me walk through the story.
In my head is the story we build about that relationship that may keep us stuck and grieving it. Because if you’ve got feelings of guilt, unresolved anger, unresolved loss, betrayal, it’s very hard to grieve the whole person. You don’t even want to think about the good stuff. The good stuff brings up too much pain. So you push that aside. Does that make sense? Absolutely. I mean, I’m just nodding my head because I was that stuffer and I always catch ourselves.
So I’m just too busy, you know, self care, taking care of grief. I never, ever realized it was a it was a thing. So everything you’re saying, I can totally relate to and I’m sure our viewers can and to and what you said about we’re never taught how to lose things. I wrote that down because that’s that’s mind blowing in in this year of covid-19 pandemic. Twenty twenty. There’s been a lot of loss. So I’m glad you brought up you know, divorce is a loss.
Job loss is a loss. If you lose a friendship for whatever reason, not even not death related, but you friendships end and they don’t always end on a positive note. Right. So you you have so many things of loss moving. You taught me that because I’ve moved across country multiple times. We just moved. I have kids who are going through their own loss and grieving, and I can’t believe that this was never really taught to us.
And it’s astounding the things that we don’t realize and we don’t take the time. So grief is done like anything else. Like when you feel joy, you feel joy, like right then and there. It’s wonderful. But you don’t hear people telling you to stop feeling that joy because it’s long. You know, you should get over it much more joyful because you’re pregnant. You know, I don’t think you love me anymore because it’s pregnant. I found it two months ago.
Why are you still feeling joy now? Maybe medication about that. You don’t hear people saying that, but with grief and I know what it is, we’re uncomfortable because we’re not taught how to care for people in that space. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s not your parents fault. It’s it’s a society is full, not taught to be comfortable in somebody’s face of loss and grief, you know, let alone our own.
Yeah, I remember in that book, that’s actually how you and I connected as well. You first before I hired you said check out the grief therapy handbook and I’ll I’ll I’ll share that in the show now so people can go check it out. But that was a powerful, powerful book. Is that how you got certified or how to do to tell us more about that?
There’s a couple of places that I’m certified, but this one was in particular that I bet you’re talking about. So we’ll talk about that one. That one’s really a lot that I’m using in the last since thousand seven, actually two thousand thirty. I was introduced to it about two thousand eight. And I started to think some of those concepts and I really went into the whole program. And what I found is, is that it is so much about that’s why we have all lost.
So it’s not just about death and not about divorce. It’s about all of this is about like moving their kids today that are moving like planes and their childhood. And nobody’s really addressed that with those kids. And so and the kids are just told it’s just part of the that’s what we do know, that with military, you know, and it’s not anybody’s fault. But kids can be resilient if you process their feelings with them. Right. And how to be resilient.
But if we don’t talk about it, it’s really things that we just kind of have to figure out ourselves. That’s when we feel very unstable, untrusting, you know, and you keep anything from anybody. You know, there’s something nobody’s talking about, Milanesi, you know. When you were you reminded me something, since most of my audiences, salespeople, business owners, entrepreneurs, I teach a lot about how to take the fear out of selling.
And ironically, I didn’t put two and two together until I started working with you. I had a lot of loss as a kid. My mom left a major, major trauma, major loss. So I had a fear of abandonment and a fear of rejection. So when I got into sales hello, someone would say no to me. And I thought, oh, man, I took it so personal. And it could take me days to recover from that.
And I see a lot of sales people who struggle with that. They struggle with call reluctance. They struggle with having sales conversations because we make it all about ourselves when there’s pain and trauma and unresolved grief, because it’s almost like we’re we’re afraid to have an authentic conversation because we put on that Academy Award winning sales lady or super sales guy. And and then that’s where the used car salesman effect, I believe, comes the pushy salesman effect. It all comes from unresolved grief, trauma and inauthenticity.
Would you say that that’s probably a pretty accurate one? Yeah. Yeah, because it’s and and it’s there’s so much stuff about that of being authentic that we die from, you know, because we have to be certain ideal and we run around with that in its element within the humbleness. When I finally broke down and admitted everything I run, it was humility and humbleness that I got the healing finally, that I got the feeling and what I ended up being better at my business, at my work than I ever was.
It was like I remember the first time I went back on the podium and I shared from that humility space and then did my lecture. I had a standing ovation. I still remember that. And they’re making sure I’m back and I’m better than back, you know.
And so that’s why I what I want for people is 110 percent, you know, this is our only rodeo. We don’t have another one. And if I if I’m going to carry which I did because of my past and not deal with it and I’ve shortchanged myself, change something, my. It’s not even shortchanging yourself, and I know you were on my workshop last week, Saturday, and I started crying because I see how many people are feeling hopeless right now and they aren’t allowing themselves to play at a big level.
And I’m not even talking about work hard, play hard or hitting your financial goals. None of that. It’s about your authentic self. When you rise and shine your light, that ripple effect, the butterfly effect, you can feel it across the world, like for real. This is science. This is truth when we hide because we’re scared or traumatized or we just can’t have the best relationships, the best anything. So what you do is it’s so powerful, so powerful.
And I remember in reading that book, I didn’t realize it was like holding up a mirror. How many knee jerk reactions? I was programmed to say to people when someone else died or when someone had a divorce is like, oh, you’ll find a better one or they’re in a better place. All of those things. And when I was on the receiving end of them, I was like, shut up. You know, you don’t know how I feel.
And so I wish there was a way that you could actually teach courses and you probably do. Well, I’ll have you share at the end how people can get in touch with you. And she has an amazing, generous offer for all of our guests today. It’s first come, first served. So I’m just going to throw it out there right away. But how do you how do you help someone discover that they.
Need to start or deserve the start, is there any advice that you have I mean, I know for me it was just like destiny. Fate. I met you like right after my brother died. Right. And it was just like I knew I knew I hadn’t grieved most of the things in my life, let alone that. And it was just like perfect timing. But what if what if people don’t? I know where to start, though, it’s still agit that we really don’t search out things unless something’s not working something, something.
And so a lot of times I will have people and I offer this 15, 30 minute free consultation of just having a conversation with me. And I’ll be honest with you sometimes even longer, because I love what I do. And if I can help somebody even get to an avenue may not be me, maybe somebody else. And I’ve got some other resources, but at least we can navigate together because my heart center is that what happened for me was not just missing all that time with my mother, all that time of unresolved loss of my dad, that I didn’t really realize that it brought me not being present with my mom even, but with my kids.
I ran from my other losses that I was present for my kids, but we lost our children. If we don’t deal with our stuff. And I’d love to have more conversations about how that happens, that because they are our kids of our future and so forth, you have tons of kids right now in therapy and all kinds. Because of what has happened, the mirrors, the mentor, their families from running from our own losses, and I get more some other time, but what I do, the question you ask is how do people come and find out we have this conversation?
And so, like, sometimes people call me and say, I don’t know if this is free. I don’t know what it is. But somebody told me to call you and talk to you about this.
And I said, OK, so we go and we have the invitations and it’s going to tell them we’re live on Facebook right now.
That’s happened. I had it off and then it came back on. OK, so so basically what I tell people in my thing is, is that let’s have this conversation on what’s going on with with your life, what’s not working, you know, what do we see that’s not working in our lives? And sometimes people will say, well, you know, I don’t know if if this is grief, but, you know, my business, I can’t seem to get my mojo back.
Have a little deeper on what’s going on, of what’s happened in their life during this process of their business or let’s say my kids, I’m going through a divorce and my kid is acting. I’m acting out. I’m ready to step up his dad. It’s a thankless job. OK, let’s talk about what’s going on there. We talked to people and find out. And ironically, what we find out is there are some unresolved loss is Captain Gregory and his story in their head, and it’s them move forward and be in the present situation and they’re bringing the past into it.
That is sabotaging their life in those areas. And we don’t see that until we have a conversation. That’s why I would never recommend somebody just in the book or whatever and try to do it by themselves because we say in treatment and no, no disrespect, but they say a sick mind can’t help a sick mind. But that’s when you’re when you’re when you’re riddled with riddled with grief or unresolved anger or loss. You can help this with read the book because we did in our head.
This is a hard issue. It’s like the book says, you can not help somebody in a house with a hammer. So we’re using the wrong to do if we start intellectualizing our part. So true. Oh, my gosh, so, so true, because I can see going through the therapy when I found you and understanding some of my anxiety, depression through my journey all stemmed back to unresolved grief. And I before finding you, I would talk to friends, a lot of personal development like, oh, that dopamine hit of this, you know, even even listening to audiobooks and all that kind of stuff.
But I hear I’m here to tell you guys personal development is not grief therapy. You can listen to all the books. You want to see it time and time again where people are just so so like, I’ll just read another book, spend money on another class. I’ll just hire another coach. And I’ve seen it. And I that’s why I love having you in my tool belt now, because I feel like, you know what? I don’t know if I can really help you yet until you resolve resolve this, because a lot of times, even when I was in real estate, I felt like I was a therapist.
I saw husbands and wives going through emotional things, financial investments. All of those things are big deals. But now I’m like, oh, my gosh, what was their grief? What was their story? What was really holding them back? And you helped me. And people have heard the story before by going through that process with you started in early June. And guess what? I launched my podcast in July. And I was terrified. Right.
Because a lot of my grief manifested even an autoimmune disease, because as a little kid, I was like, you know, you don’t have a voice. And it wasn’t anybody’s fault. Like you said, it wasn’t anybody’s fault. But I didn’t feel like anyone heard me. So when someone said earlier in my adult life, you know, why should you be a speaker? You know, who’s going to listen to you? It triggered that earlier trauma in my life.
And I was bawling like a baby the week before I launched my podcast because I was like, oh, my God, am I really doing this? And then once I got through that that benchmark and watched it, it was like I was a butterfly coming out of the cocoon. And again, I attribute it to the process that I started with you. And would you say relieving yourself of that grief that’s kind of holding you down or holding you hostage like I like to call it?
Is that what allows. And I know I’m far from done, right? I’m going to probably have you on retainer for as long as you and I both shall live. But like that starts allowing you to do more of more. Have more. Right. Right.
So when you think about it, if you can see the picture of the is that there is a woman that has all the stones. Right. That’s all her unresolved loss. Very heavy. Very heavy. How can you actually go out and do something, have motivation, have that selfsame that knowledge, that zest to get out there and do a business, a podcast or a ELAD if you’re carrying extra baggage? We really don’t realize how much it is in our backs and her body’s grief for so many books now out about how the body knows so true.
And that’s what a lot of illnesses happen. And so if you don’t break open those stones and get rid of them by doing this work, you are going to be it’s pushes you down. You don’t have the freedom and the sunlight of the spirit of freedom. This picture was painted by somebody that went through a great process. She started painting, never going formally to her brother was at her and she had to open up so much creativity and process, you know, so when we talk about this is, you know, some people do therapy and know that we talk about this as therapy.
But it’s this actually program is not therapy, but it feels like it. I know that because of such awareness, involvement is really support and the work. And it’s not me analyzing you and picking your brain and saying this is what’s wrong with you, whatever it’s about you, every attempt to be afraid. But what are you going to pull out of me and what I don’t what you’re going to do. No, no, no. This is stuff that’s already been in there for you to step and sometimes even in the forefront of crazy talk about, you know, oh, my gosh.
Well, you made me think of two examples, and I can’t believe it. We’ve already gone over thirty minutes so I could talk to you probably for hours. And I’m sure I will have you back for a second round. But you talk about grief impacting your body, and I know that we’re heading into Breast Cancer Awareness Month a lot of times. That’s right. And I know that this might be controversial, but a lot of times just ease as manifested because of those unresolved matters of the heart.
And it’s been it’s been proven that cancers, and especially breast cancer rate has manifested because of unresolved grief.
Like my mother had breast cancer. And we think it’s either colon ovarian cancer and had a brain or we’re not about all that. But we know about the cancer and I believe with phenomenal stuff in her. You know, and I respect more women than I know a lot of unresolved stuff like together, right. And so, you know, not to say that there is something else going on at that, but I know that our body is right. I think it’s triggered by the stress that we put in our bodies, by our food, by our environment, all that.
What factors say when you come in cancer diagnosis, all the things I know, stress, eat fine, talk about your feelings to support other things before the fact.
Right. It’s always those turning points. I mean, I even have that I needed to be kicked on my ass, pardon the expression to have a wake up call. And I was sick for five years and been there, done that, bought the t shirt. And I do know like congestive heart failure runs in my family. And I told you that I’m like, oh, so maybe maybe I’m breaking a generational curse here by by being open and sharing my grief and and talking about it openly with my children and crying in front of them.
I’ve cried so much in front of them. I think they’re like they’re used to it now. But it before it was like my mom, you’re always so strong, you’re always so tough that, you know, all of the things that I thought I had to be because like you said, never let them see you sweat. No pain, no gain. I was an athlete. I mean, I did all of the things. And it’s just it’s just crazy how healthy and wealthy and why is really meant to help people understand that business and sales, it all comes from within and finding finding your truth.
Now, I want to I want to give the Earth time and space. You said you had a testimonial you wanted to share of a client. And I think guys listen to this really intensely because it’s powerful. And I really want you to be able to to get that. And then we’ll finish out with my closing question after you’re done with that. Rosie, if that sounds good.
OK, this is a woman I worked in January. Twenty twenty. It was at the end of January. Twenty twenty. I believe that I finally stepped into group therapy with Rosie Fox. I know this because a young man I hold near and dear died the evening of when seventeen twenty twenty. I received his voice that I remembered when his voice was no more. I remember the call from his cousin. I was at work a voice mail. You need to call me as soon as you get this message.
Please my heart. Stop with the news that he overdosed. I spent the week in an AA meetings. I cried. I yelled there. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t get something. I could have said something. Why did he do this? These are the course. The thoughts that went through my mind and let them pour onto the floor of a meeting halls. People listened, people cared, people were moved. And though some said all the usual things people say to a person grieving, a few said maybe it’s time to see Rosie.
If I’m being honest, I can say that I’ve known Rosie. I’ve needed to Rosie’s grieve program for a long time. Before this moment, I meant that my life is ultimately defined by losses that I thought I’d already dealt with. But this loss, for whatever reason, pump the brakes. I mean, I feel in my mind, my heart and body that there was no space to run. I went to Rosie thinking I was going to process the loss of a young man I mentioned earlier.
Instead, I discovered through a lost timeline that the loss, needing immediate attention was that of my mother. Here’s the thing. My mother is alive and well, but our relationship was not. It was a strained relationship, strained since I was 13 years old, if not earlier than I left it that way. And I intended to settle for Sybil. I’m thirty eight years old now. Clearly, it was a subject that I, by choice, put to bed, never really intending to touch on, thought I could live in full.
Despite this full life and spite, this rosy fox helped me look at incomplete relationships and the less than love one in my life. And as it turns out, though, I had had a lot of good things happen and amended some wounds in my recovery as an addict and alcoholic, the one thing that I chose choose to run from, I chose to run from is the one thing that may have stood in the way of my living. The best life, open wounds regarding my mother and with Rosie, I’m a metaphorical contract with myself to at least put my best foot forward.
I have no idea where this whole thing with Rosie was going, especially on agreeing to work first on the grief of my mom. We finish at the end of March twenty twenty. I had not missed a session. It was an emotional roller coaster of an assignment, talking things out, sometimes redoing assignments, because I honestly thought or held back on something, crying, reflecting, etc.. And scroll forward to July 2nd, twenty twenty. Between the end of March to July, things started shifting in a new direction.
There’s no explanation for all this, but that by God and by the willingness to grieve more thoroughly, things have opened up. For me, a new career is in the works, and while awaiting the words you’ve been hired, I took my mother on our first first trip together ever. Secondly, your life in a Florida and this county where I was born, she says, I courageously and spontaneous, took my mother on a trip to revisit the roots of where life and my father began parentheses.
My father passed away when I was 13. He and I were very close. My mother and I went everywhere. We talked this trip. Well, I let her talk because honestly, my whole life, I was when talking, talking at her or otherwise avoiding her, never really talking with. She shared she shared memories of her and my dad and the home they built together. We took photos, we hugged and I took told her I loved her to say all this is unreal.
I never envisioned it happening. I was wondering and plan how to get away from my mother because of this first real try at work in Rosie’s grief program, because I had nowhere left to go but run towards something that I thought I could in fact, live fine without. I got to have this really beautiful, meaningful moment in time with my mother. And so I know there’s still much work to do. I got this weird, intense feeling that I feel I keep uncovering incomplete relationships and if I keep learning into healing, then even more real cool moments and opportunities are to come for me.
I guess I never really did have a clue on just how much better life could be. I fantasized about it, but never thought about how not working though through grief would stand in the way of what I really wanted. So that was the long version of being able to say good, thank you for offering me and continue to offer me because I’m coming back for the next four to really wade through some things in my life that I really thought I had already made sense of.
I thought I knew what grief was and at least I thought I knew what it meant to me. Turns out I knew nothing at all. And that’s actually a reason I’ll be. I really like this moment of doors opening like you had said they would. You were right about me all along. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. That’s why I do this. That is why I do this because I love that result.
I had no reason. When we die, when we’re on our death, but we don’t care how many cars and what we got, we can what matters? We have our relationship, you know. Yeah. Well, that’s what businesses I mean, is relationships, right? You and I met through and and it’s all about long term, meaningful, deep relationships. And when you’re true to yourself and you can release the baggage of the stuff and move forward, that just lights the world on fire.
Yeah. So I’m really honored to have worked with you and continuing to work with you on my own journey, being transparent. I know I can always be better. And a lot of it is that at heart stuff that I haven’t I haven’t released yet.
I just I and I was honored do that. You opened your heart to me. I am just and I thank you for this opportunity to share on your podcast the morning. I think I really. Love you, appreciate it. Thank you. Try not to cry here, although I know that’s that’s that’s allowed. It is very. So before we wrap it up, and I appreciate you spending some extra time with me today. What how can people find you and I will put all of this in the iTunes show notes and I’ll I’ll comment below on Facebook, but where can people find you and tell them about your free offer before I ask you the last question?
OK, so I’m offering a package of two hour sessions to individual sessions for two. So that means no one person will get two hours of a session with the kind of uncover, discover and recover, basically trying to see what is it that they’re needing if they’re needing my programs, any of them necessary. There might be other ones or they need another kind of work and we’ll figure that out. But that’s kind of that’s what I’m offering, because more of my heart is where they need to be, whether it’s me or somebody else get their place.
So so, again, two people and the first two people at the time of this live recording, or if it happens to be when it comes in iTunes and it’ll show up in iTunes sometime this weekend. So if you’re tuning in live or you’re seeing this on the replay, how do they reach you? And I’ll share your email address. Is that how they reach you to cash in on the offer? Yes. OK, I’ll share your email address with everyone.
And of course, my final question and ask of all of my guests, because I love hearing different people’s perspective in this world of I’m right, you’re wrong. None of that B.S. matters to me. I love learning from others. So when you hear the phrase healthy and wealthy and wise, Rosie, what does that mean to you? OK, so healthy means that not just your healthy, your body, but it’s mind, body and spirit. You know, it’s how we know we cleared the gun out, right?
No. And in order to be healthy, we have to be wise. Right. And wise is being discerning. So to get clarity, if they can’t make good decisions, if I’m not clear, I mean, I need there’s so many avenues of getting clarity, but more than anything is like what I’m teaching is getting rid of the old belief system so we can be clear to make good decisions. So when I think of it, I think of so many things.
It’s just not about what we eat because that’s a big factor, but how we take care of ourselves physically, how we take care of yourself emotionally and mentally, spiritually. And, you know, you can’t be wise if you’re not taking care of those things. Those are going to interfere. They just seem to. And if no matter what you do, they’re going to interfere in your life. Yeah. And in order to be wise. And what again, what she shares guys, is so, so powerful, so I’ll put in the comments how you can reach her and take advantage of of what she has to offer, just even if you miss out on the efforts to free offers.
She’s definitely a great one to talk to and just see if you know someone grieving. You have someone hurting right now, especially if they’ve been through addiction or suicide attempts or anything like that. A lot of it is. It’s all grief born. I truly believe that. So thank you so much for being my final guest for Suicide Awareness Month and Prevention. And until next time, guys, we will be back here on a Friday AM kicking off October with a lot of major influencers in the world of business.
So Friday we’re going to be talking about LinkedIn with Carol Kemmerer, who’s an internationally known branding expert who is going to share with you how LinkedIn is the best promotion or best investment that you didn’t have to pay for in marketing and promoting yourself. So until next time, guys, here’s to your best health, your best wealth and your best wisdom. Bye bye for now.
Hey, guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode. If you enjoyed this, please subscribe, refer a friend and please drop me a rating or a review. If you do that, I’ll reward you with a free 20 minute free coaching session on crafting your journey to your best self. Reach out to me at Loess at Loess Coffee Dotcom to claim your 20 minute slot until next time. Be healthy, wealthy and wise.