I never understood this word, until I started studying it
This was after I suffered with alcohol dependency….but then I realized alcohol was NOT was causing my codependency
It was my masculine wound
I shut myself down at a very very young age due to trauma
Always choosing to be the “good girl”
Getting good grades
Following rules galore
Not making waves (most of the time, ok so I am a real rebel at heart lol)
As I grew up and many of those dependencies of good grades, following rules now shifted to adult responsibilities – I threw myself into people pleasing, over giving, starting to get addicted to overwhelm, being ALL things to all people….
Fear of rejection in sales led to people pleasing and over giving to clients and mentors and coaches….
Then in marriage, I wanted to be the “hero” or fell prey to the “Savior complex” because I thought as a mom and wife that is what you did!
Before I knew it, I had difficulty making decisions
I started feeling compelled to control others and situations
Did things I did NOT want to do to keep the peace (which did include over working and over drinking)
Was addicted to “drama” and overwhelm in my business associations and dealings (there was never a loss for that, because I helped create it!)
It was all a big mirror
The Universe kept bringing more and more people and things/events, etc., to send me a huge fat memo
I was an over giving codependent people pleasing person
I think i could have won a grammy or academy award
And I hated myself for it
I was miserable I was also 40 lbs overweight as a result
One day I woke up and looked in the mirror at my puffy face/eyes and body, slightly hungover (again) and said, “Who the hell are you and how did we get here?”
Signs of codependency include:
Difficulty making decisions in a relationship.
Difficulty identifying your feelings.
Difficulty communicating in a relationship.
Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself.
Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.
AND THEN SOME!
Once I got to the root cause of my codependency (masculine wound was #1 cause), I could feel that pain and start to heal it
Start to unpack it
And I didn’t do it alone
TUNE IN TOMORROW AT 9:30 A.M. PST where I will unpack more of this masculine wound in class
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